Sit around a table of mid-twenties' adults in any part of the country and you'll hear similar conversations. Between juggling bills, being proud of household purchases, seeing major life announcements on social media, and still mildly figuring out career aspirations, there's a common narrative.
At some point or another, we all had a different story of what life would be right now. Have you ever heard someone say " I was supposed to be (insert milestone) by now. [Moved there] [Have a serious relationship] [Be at this level] [Accomplished that]. Even if the setting is right, the characters, story line, and plot are probably different.
At least mine is.
Best-selling authors, entertainers, entrepreneurs, all the greats share their stories of change. I can watch one TED talk and suddenly I have the gusto to attempt climbing Mount Everest. I guess in a sense I am climbing up the Mt. Everest of my own journey. However, I now believe we might put too much emphasis on crafting the story itself.
We build up these supposed "One size fits all" narratives in our head based on the realities around us.
The media we consume.
The stars we admire.
The books we've read.
The classic Friends crew.
The perfect Rom Com romance (often mixed with a twisted love story like Scandal's Olivia and Fitz)
The lavish lifestyle of reality TV shows.
The list goes on.
We take bits and pieces of what we've seen and heard our entire lives and try to scrapbook together the life "we've always wanted". But IS it the life we've always wanted? What exactly are we using to gauge what we actually want in life? A photo exhibit I once saw said "We tell ourselves stories in order to live". And I'm starting to realize this more and more each day.
I believe I was so unfulfilled for years because I wasted energy trying to live for the "movie moments". Constantly dreaming of having wine nights with a girl gang, yet I never followed through on them. Imagining what I would say sitting onstage for a panel at a conference, but never confident enough to follow through on ideas. Aspiring to have financial stability, but continuously diving into debt. Falling so deep into my hurt feelings, but never discussing them with people for resolutions.
Why?
Because creating narratives in our heads is a rush, but even more so a placeholder. We often times focus on what could be, because we don't want to face the realities in front of us. There's comfort in daydreaming. It's almost like a safe space. For us to satisfy our desires, without facing uncertainty or consequences. Sure you can imagine what things could be like, but guess what?
We don't know how we feel until we actually do them.
We all have pieces of our life we dream up in our heads, and here are three things I can say to wrap this up:
1. You CAN dream and there is absolutely nothing wrong with imagining life in endless capacities; it just requires balance. You can be inspired, but blend your imagination with practicality.
2. Your life does not have to be like your favorite movie, personality, TV show, or otherwise. Take inventory of the people, environments, and opportunities around you to seize the most out of each day. Create your own space and use those figures as inspiration and not the mold to become a carbon copy model.
3. Just because it didn't happen the way you thought it would, doesn't mean it's not happening the way you need it to. Take what you're experiencing right now and squeeze the lessons out of it. What is helping you while you're uncomfortable? What is growing old while you commit to change? Sometimes, we have to be where we are to realize more about ourselves.
Let's try to live a little less in our Story-Mode and enjoy the world around us in Live-Mode.
Sending love and light always. <3
Sincerely,
Shelbs
Comentarios