Dear Shelbs ,
This is college, not the Hunger Games. You will not be forced to eat poison berries, (well, I guess a month of ramen is comparable) but you will survive. You’ll study journalism, but NOT with a print emphasis as planned. Surprising right? Instead, you’ll become infatuated with strategic communications.
You are beautiful. Stop comparing yourself to the girls in your dorm. In fact, stop comparing yourself to all the girls you see around campus. You are equally brilliant, simply in a different way. It takes until 2018 to truly start to feel comfortable in your own skin. And when you do, it’s a lovely feeling. So eat as many DC store grilled cheese as your little, 18-year old heart desires.
Don’t compromise your individuality to fit in. Fair warning, you’ll become lost in the “college hype” for some time. The house parties and Highlands apt#123 kickbacks are super fun. You will make incredible memories, but around junior year you start to realize there is more to weekends than red solo cups and Kesha. You will compromise your pride to be the "it girl" and it will send you reeling down a destructive path. I'd say don't do it because the pain is real, BUT you also end up meeting some of your "forever friends" in the process. Long story short, it's rough, but worth it.
You will be in your relationship until three days before your 21st birthday. Many months following the event will be extremely rocky. You’ll cry to your friends a lot, who graciously hold your head up (Remember to sincerely thank them for dealing with your weekly meltdowns and fast food dates). You’ll go out of your way one too many times in the name of “love”. However, you’ll gain so much personal insight from the experience. You’ll build strength, drive and determination. In many ways, this struggle pushes you to commit and excel in other areas of your life.
You'll end up in another relationship right after school, with the guy who's kinda been there all along. You'll start off on long-distance while he's in Hawaii, but then he'll surprise you and move back your 24th birthday. You'll fall in love, go through your own rough patch, and pick back up again. He loves you endlessly and genuinely puts up with emotional trauma the early twenties brings. You'll have great jobs and crappy jobs. You'll have health scares and pit falls. You'll hit rock bottom..and then hit it again.. all of which makes you that much stronger for the part for starting a life in New York City.
Oh yeah, YOU GET TO NEW YORK CITY GIRLLLL!! All those Sex and the City episodes you'll binge junior year will be nothing like the reality of living here. BUT it's everything you could ever imagine (or not imagine). It will push you to truly find yourself and start to create the life you imagined. The city will emphasize what is important to you and other things you can leave behind. Adulting isn't easy, but with a strong support system and sense of self, anything will be possible.
Speaking of support systems, the next eight years will be the WILDEST roller coaster. People will constantly enter and exit your life. Many friends from the early years will not be around much by the end. The years will be filled with a range of emotions from boisterous laughter to impenetrable silence. There will be extreme highs and even more extreme lows.
Connections will come and go through the seasons. However, by the end, the people who are meant to be there will be. You’ll discover your best friends. Establish families away from home. Leave with a sense of support and security. Shelbs, I could’ve wrote a 12-page letter, but I think these are the key highlights to know. I also don’t want to spoil it for you. You get dealt some pretty interesting cards, but you’ll play them the best you can. More importantly, you’ll learn from them.
The years are filled with INCREDIBLE opportunities in all aspects of your life. Get involved. Say yes to new adventures. Take risks, but also take nothing for granted. Work to constantly express gratitude and stay in tune with authenticity. You’ll make many mistakes, but find resolve in knowing those mistakes don’t define you indefinitely.
Overall, your early twenties will be the greatest years of your life. So far. This is your time to get polished for the future chapters. I’m about to start one, so in another five years, I’ll make sure to send you another update like this. Hopefully, my current Pinterest boards will be more of a reality by that point.
Sincerely, Shelbs 2018