The melanin of my skin still speaks before my voice.
The form of my body still speaks before my actions.
Before my detailed resume and personal website. Before my national recognition, achievements and accomplishments. Before the undeniable years of hard work I've put in professionally and personally. Before my passions and dreams. Before my personal story. How many times have I heard: " You handled that well for being a woman." "We like your kind, like the nice black people." "You sound so well-spoken for being black." "You're so white-washed for being black." And the list of ridiculous comments goes on. Yes, I am well-spoken. Yes, I can handle tough situations being a female. However, no, it isn't okay to distinguish me while simultaneously fueling stereotypes. No, it isn't okay to make me feel like I'm purposely trying to separate myself from my cultural identity.
Let's just set the record straight.
I am black and will always be black.
I am proud to be a black female.
Stop trying to make me feel like I shouldn't be proud to be black.
The way I speak dress and act is by choice, not by necessity. Why does my character have to be associated with a stereotypical bias? My examples tie into who I am, but other friends who are members of marginalized groups can relate in their own ways. And too often, we're looked at as being sensitive for expressing how we feel about what we put up with. The older we get, we always talk about the classic rule " Never discuss politics". Yet..the personal IS political. Political influence and decisions impact people's personal lives, especially those who've only navigated through systematic oppression their entire life.
I can look back on soooo many instances where I just had to keep my head up high. I've watched people with no qualified background and utter lack of experience, receive higher job titles and better pay. Or that I was a good pick for a diversity hire. I've had wealthy men imply I've only made it to where I was in life through begging and government handouts. My friends have been told the natural state of their hair was "fascinating" or "unprofessional". (No, we are not pets; do not ask to touch our hair.) Most of us never been able to rely solely on wit, humor and looks to make things happen. I've have to defend and provide extensive evidence for my ideas to be valid, unlike others. Suggest an idea? Teacher keeps rolling. Five minutes later, the never prepared, over-confident guy next to me repeats EXACTLY what I said and suddenly it's GOLD.
Now, I understand that every case isn't the same. I've had the privilege of spending time in incredible environments, but at the same time, I've also experienced my fair share of discrimination. The list could go on, but I want to make clear: this piece isn't a sob story or a pity party. I deal with discrimination daily, both subtle and outright, in all facets of life. Yet, I still keep pushing toward my goals. While it eats away at my heart sometimes, it has become a blessing. Because dealing with these issues has built a resilient strength in me, just like many other amazing minorities I know and admire.
I'm writing this because I don't want to ignore this. I'm tired of being quiet and acting like the insensitivity doesn't bother me.
What I'm asking you to do is acknowledge the difference. Acknowledge.
It's 2018, let's stop saying "We don't see color". There is nothing wrong with seeing color, because color correlates to someone's heritage and identity. See our color and respect it. See our color, but don't act. You can have respect for people's race and ethnicity, without demeaning it. Don't deny that injustice exists, because doing so is insulting. I'm not the "token black" friend. Respect my identity, just like I respect yours. And most importantly please don't deny my struggle.
Since moving to New York, this has been a culture shock, in the best way. I feel comfortable being myself because diversity is a foundation of this environment. I'm starting to learn about so many businesses, brands, people, communities, and places. I'm learning about culture and history, only to realize there is so much to experience in this world. I love how social and pop culture is rapidly evolving into a landscape driven by change and accountability. I believe in keeping a positive perspective and I see the future being so bright. I will not let ignorance and unwarranted hate scare me away from letting my light shine. And I encourage you to do the same.
Keep shining, friends.
Sending love and light always. :)